Surviving the Holidays with Young Kids
If you have or have been with younger children during the holiday season, you likely have had some expectations about how things would go. The picture in your head may have looked something like the following: They would be absolute angels mesmerized by the colors, excitement, and fun. The transition between parties, houses, and going to bed would go smoothly. Except, that’s not always the reality. Oftentimes, holidays are met with more emotional meltdowns, little sleep, and a lot of being outside of the normal routine.
Why Do Holidays Seem to Create More Meltdowns?
In our adult brains, we see the holidays as a fun experience and that a change in our routine can be a good thing for a short period of time. For kids though, especially those on the younger end, it can be downright stressful for them.
Kids thrive on routine and knowing what to expect next. The holidays tend to mess all of that up when you may have to wake them up earlier, travel to two or three different places in the day, and get home later than usual. Unfortunately, most young kids also don’t know how to tell their parents that they’re feeling stressed and could use a few minutes to relax. This may be why you see your child crying and yelling when it’s time to move on to the next activity.
How Can a Caregiver Help?
If you would like to ease the holiday meltdowns and tantrums, there are a few things that caregivers can do to help. Our goal is to give you some concrete ideas that you can use now, as you get closer to the big day:
-Start talking about what’s going to happen: If you know the schedule that your day will look like, start talking about the timeline with your child. It can be very simple and sound something like, “On Christmas morning, we will wake up and open presents as a family. We will get ready and go to grandma’s house. After we eat lunch with grandma, we will go to uncle Jim’s house. We will open a few more presents and eat dinner. We will get home late, so we will get ready for bed when we get back here.” For some kiddos, having a picture schedule can also be helpful, as it helps them visualize it.
-Practice “opening” presents and saying thank you: If Christmastime is still a novel idea to your youngster, it can help to practice the process of present-opening. Find an easy to wrap box that you can take the lid off and on easily. Put a favorite toy or item inside. Tell your child you want to play the Christmas present game. Model how to open the present and talk about saying thank you after opening. Ask your child to repeat after you as you do it. Make it fun by switching out the item, practicing with different family members, or getting creative with the present. The idea behind this activity is that it primes the brain for knowing how to handle it as it occurs.
-Game plan how you want to handle a meltdown: If you have other adults in your support system, use them to your advantage. If you know a certain transition or activity will be stressful for your child, talk through how you want to handle it. The best thing a caregiver can do is to co-regulate and validate the child’s experiences while holding the boundary. You can say something like, “I can see you’re feeling sad to leave grandma’s house. I love it here too. We are going to leave. We can talk about how you’re feeling in the car.” Ask your support system for help in ways like creating transition items, like a snack kit for the road, bringing a special toy for the car only, or just being there to help you process your feelings about the hard experience.
Holidays are magic with kids. They are also stressful and at times very trying. We hope that as you prepare for the holiday fun, you can use these real-world tips to make your day go smoother than it has ever been. Let’s turn surviving into a thriving holiday season.
